Tag: Happiness

To hunt or be hunted?!


It has been commonly stated that men are hunters and what they truly desire, they will hunt for it like a starved wolf to no avail. We women should sit back and do the traditional thing, wait to be preyed on. But how much of this theory is actually true?

Me, an individual not very interested by rules but traditional with some of my views was discussing this topic with another rule bending close one. Her stance has been to go up and approach the one you like without a blink of an eye, whereas I have always held the traditional view that the male should make the first move. 

Well as I am much older than the age that I first adopted this view which was to partly cover up my low confidence and protect me from any possible rejection, I have started to question this ideology just a bit. 

I like to look at the world as a collective regardless of gender and I tend to look at both sides to every story to get a really clear objective. This being said, I have decided to look more into the feelings and thoughts of the males who are knowingly or unknowingly being held to this historical view. 

If you are not a confident person or quite frankly your love interest makes you quiver at the thought of “Hello”, how is it logically possible that you should be relied upon to hunt this being out. 

Does it make you less womanly for doing the job for him by making the first approach and does it make him less manly for not having the courage!? Well my friend has now decided that she is going to refrain from approaching guys because she feels that she is emasculating the very male that she wants due to taking on the “masculine role”. 

“The emasculation of men is taking place everyday with the lack of dependent women”, I was told by a woman at an inspirational event. This in turn could possibly be the reason that men approaching women is currently at an all time low. They simply feel unneeded and in my most recent experiences, I have learned that people love to be needed. 

Some men have said that they think there is nothing more sexy than a woman who knows what she wants, so why should a woman approaching a man be any different?

I do believe that the more rules the more complicated situations can be because it can leave less room for a natural flow, resulting in pressure and judgement to live up to the status quo. So I am a great believer in living life by your own standards which means going up to that cutie regardless of what sex you are and asking them out. You never know, maybe your prospective lover might have been praying to be hunted by you! 

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For kids or For happiness

In today’s world of relationships, I see many people who are in unhappy relationships which also contain children. I’ve heard people say, “why did I choose this person to be in my life forever?”. When you ask these people why they are together, more often than not, they say for their children. But this gives me many concerns.

Firstly, I do wonder how people who are in unhappy their relationships continue to produce more offspring in this unhappy union?! I find it quite selfish! Children are meant to be brought into the world through love and brought up around love.

I’ve seen couples rush into relationships barely knowing each other and the part of them that they did know did not prove to be of good characteristics yet having kids seemed to be the smartest next move.

Children are very impressionable, so bringing them up with two constant bickering parents can have a really bad emotional and mental effect on them. Children are very intuitive so to witness arguments can be very distressing for them.

I think it is very important to make sure we are compatible with who we want to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, I know that it is impossible to be in a relationship where you do not argue and I do know that some people grow apart but I think it’s important to have your standards about you and be patient enough to find out if the person you are with will be the person you want to have a permanent link to.

Unfortunately when and if these circumstance arise, I think it is actually the best decision to co-parent than to stay together and try and make it work for the children’s sake, putting away your own happiness.

There have been many children who have grown up with a co-parent or single parent life and they have not been affected but to my witnessing, it has been those who have grown up with their parents trying to make it work on their behalf that have been negatively influenced later in their life when it concerns their relationships.

On the other hand, it could be argued that children growing up without their parents sharing a union will equally affect their views on relationships but my main concern is that all in all we all deserve happiness, so I don’t feel people should push themselves together when it is clearly upsetting their well being just for the sake of their children, more times out of ten it doesn’t work so why put your children through it.

To summarise, what I will say is that we need to take our times getting to know our partners, maintaining a bond filled with good communication and think long and hard if this person will be the person you will be happy to permanently linked to. After all your happiness is just as important as your children’s. Choose wisely!

P.S I do know and understand that this maybe a sensitive subject for some but my views have come about due to my worldly analysis, I do not intend to offend.

Sorry in advance if I have.

A wonderful day!

Yesterday My best friend came down from Manchester to see me. It had been a whole year since I last saw her but our communication has remained fluid throughout the year.

She treated me to a delicious meal but I was quite worried that I would not be hungry due to the meal (2 plates full) of Jamaican food, Indian food, African food & Eritrean food I had consumed but I have never been able to turn down a meal. Whilst I was relishing in my greed, I decided to have 3 of the best desserts on offer. Food is my passion!

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So when I saw her we gave each other a big hug. It was much needed and it expressed the length of time we had not been in physical contact. We sat and engaged immensely back and fourth as we do for hours on end in our own little cubicle, just as well given the loudness of our voices!

I was ecstatic to inform her of my happiness due to the big changes and decisions I had made in my life. She was delighted to see this happiness beaming through my smile.

It was a wonderful day, filled with laughter, food, good company & one stuffed JoJo. What else could I ask for?!

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Chinese food, a nostalgic consumption

Chinese will forever be a nostalgic food for me seeing as I had my first Chinese meal when I was 5. My father (may lord rest his soul) would buy it for us as a way of celebrating anything. It always gave me such a happy, contented feeling. I will forever on associate Chinese food with my family. A time for togetherness and social enjoyment. This is my favourite order ❤

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