To hunt or be hunted?!


It has been commonly stated that men are hunters and what they truly desire, they will hunt for it like a starved wolf to no avail. We women should sit back and do the traditional thing, wait to be preyed on. But how much of this theory is actually true?

Me, an individual not very interested by rules but traditional with some of my views was discussing this topic with another rule bending close one. Her stance has been to go up and approach the one you like without a blink of an eye, whereas I have always held the traditional view that the male should make the first move. 

Well as I am much older than the age that I first adopted this view which was to partly cover up my low confidence and protect me from any possible rejection, I have started to question this ideology just a bit. 

I like to look at the world as a collective regardless of gender and I tend to look at both sides to every story to get a really clear objective. This being said, I have decided to look more into the feelings and thoughts of the males who are knowingly or unknowingly being held to this historical view. 

If you are not a confident person or quite frankly your love interest makes you quiver at the thought of “Hello”, how is it logically possible that you should be relied upon to hunt this being out. 

Does it make you less womanly for doing the job for him by making the first approach and does it make him less manly for not having the courage!? Well my friend has now decided that she is going to refrain from approaching guys because she feels that she is emasculating the very male that she wants due to taking on the “masculine role”. 

“The emasculation of men is taking place everyday with the lack of dependent women”, I was told by a woman at an inspirational event. This in turn could possibly be the reason that men approaching women is currently at an all time low. They simply feel unneeded and in my most recent experiences, I have learned that people love to be needed. 

Some men have said that they think there is nothing more sexy than a woman who knows what she wants, so why should a woman approaching a man be any different?

I do believe that the more rules the more complicated situations can be because it can leave less room for a natural flow, resulting in pressure and judgement to live up to the status quo. So I am a great believer in living life by your own standards which means going up to that cutie regardless of what sex you are and asking them out. You never know, maybe your prospective lover might have been praying to be hunted by you! 

Which came first, the marriage or the baby?

After reading the comments made on a post from one of my boredom, filling websites that Chris Brown is planning to impregnate his girlfriend of 5 years, Karreuche Tran, it got me thinking. Which is the most important sign of progression in a relationship, marriage or kids?

Well on this website the comments trolled Chris Brown’s Instagram post which read “damn near 5 years and this woman still putting up with my sh*t. Need to have this baby and stop playing!…”. by stating that he has been with his partner for 5years and all he wants to do is have kids with her but not marry her. One person stated that she would rather her partner want to give his life to her through marriage than just have kids with them.

In a traditional sense, it is has always been the common consensus, that to give ones life to someone is to marry them but the growing trend for the 21st century is to have the baby first then think about marriage later. It used to be frowned upon to have children out of wedlock because it was looked at as a taboo. Marriage was a symbol of covenant given to a couple from god now some people look at marriage as just a piece of paper and a ring. Due to this, it is acceptable to assume that most people are preferring to have children together without the marriage commitment because maybe they feel that sharing something through blood is more of a life commitment. As I heard the words from an American programme, “because I am the baby’s mother and you are the baby’s father, we are bound together until one of us is 6 feet under!”.

So it appears that there are few traditional people and couples around and the next steps is to have a baby but has the values and beliefs of the world progressed or regressed, what do you think?

Falling in Love all over again with… Beyonce

So as most people know, I have a love/hate relationship with Beyonce Carter. Apart of me says she should retire to married life and let the younger R&B stars have their moment to shine without having to compete against the title as the “Queen”, while another part falls in love with her when she comes back and gives us her passion and heart on a platter.

When I first heard about her secret album release, I thought, “Okay what’s this all about” but I was surprisingly overwhelmed with how good the songs were and the fact that she put 17 new videos to the album. She had done it again, she had made me fall in love with her!

This album showed a very grown side of Beyonce. A side we hadn’t really been able to physically hear or see. Songs such as Heaven allow us to feel more personal about Beyonce as it opens us up to her silent pain of having a miscarriage which has never been publicly addressed due to her being a very private soul. Rocket and Blow are both very sexual songs which both have very different spins as their videos confirm. Blow is very candyfloss, playful while Rocket has a more intimate twist. Flawless has that crunk, edgier appeal for when you just wanna get ready to go out and indulge in your own sexiness as the lyrics state “I look so good tonight, god damn, god damn”.

Mine is a song about declaring ones love for each other and not giving a damn who knows it. It is the only song on the album which features another celebrity, my dearly beloved Drake besides her husband. Their soft tones blend so beautifully.

I have a personal favourite track on the album and its entitled Blue. Blue is a dedication to Beyonce’s daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. When I first saw the video for this song, I had a surprisingly overwhelming flow of emotions. This was the track which made me initially fall in love with her all over again. The video which is set in Rio de Janiero shows us a great amount of Beyonce and her only child playing sentimentally bare foot (insert, at the top). The song is so beautiful that every time I hear it I have a sudden urge to do something I never felt before which is to cry out in joy. You can feel the love and see the extreme love that Beyonce holds for her daughter and I cant wait for the chance to sing this song and lovingly attach it to my own daughter one day.

An album I don’t have to press the skip button to. She’s back and she’s on top form!

Men & Wedding Rings

I’ve heard quite recently from a few people that men do not like to wear their wedding rings because it makes them more attractive to women. Kathy Wakile from The Real Housewives of New Jersey stated in Season 3 that her husband does not like to wear his wedding ring because other women will think that “he’s a keeper”. This baffles me. Why would seeing a man with a wedding ring be an attractive attribute for a single or any woman for that matter?! Wouldn’t it put you off knowing that, that man is in a commited relationship elsewhere?! Well I think it would for those with morals and principals.

Has the taboo of wanting what you cant have become so popular that men feel the need to hide their most cherished commitment from the world?! If this is the case, I think we need to do some inside discussions with ourselves to figure out why we would want or chase after a person whom is out our accessibility. This also just tells me that again, it appears that it is unattractive to be a single person which creates all types of pressures for those single men.

Women, we should be striving for someone whom shares the same relationship status as ourselves & we should never judge another for the fact that they are not or have not been married as it does not validate how “keeper” worthy this person is. There is a thing such as values and patience and some people are just waiting for that right person who will share their values.

For kids or For happiness

In today’s world of relationships, I see many people who are in unhappy relationships which also contain children. I’ve heard people say, “why did I choose this person to be in my life forever?”. When you ask these people why they are together, more often than not, they say for their children. But this gives me many concerns.

Firstly, I do wonder how people who are in unhappy their relationships continue to produce more offspring in this unhappy union?! I find it quite selfish! Children are meant to be brought into the world through love and brought up around love.

I’ve seen couples rush into relationships barely knowing each other and the part of them that they did know did not prove to be of good characteristics yet having kids seemed to be the smartest next move.

Children are very impressionable, so bringing them up with two constant bickering parents can have a really bad emotional and mental effect on them. Children are very intuitive so to witness arguments can be very distressing for them.

I think it is very important to make sure we are compatible with who we want to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, I know that it is impossible to be in a relationship where you do not argue and I do know that some people grow apart but I think it’s important to have your standards about you and be patient enough to find out if the person you are with will be the person you want to have a permanent link to.

Unfortunately when and if these circumstance arise, I think it is actually the best decision to co-parent than to stay together and try and make it work for the children’s sake, putting away your own happiness.

There have been many children who have grown up with a co-parent or single parent life and they have not been affected but to my witnessing, it has been those who have grown up with their parents trying to make it work on their behalf that have been negatively influenced later in their life when it concerns their relationships.

On the other hand, it could be argued that children growing up without their parents sharing a union will equally affect their views on relationships but my main concern is that all in all we all deserve happiness, so I don’t feel people should push themselves together when it is clearly upsetting their well being just for the sake of their children, more times out of ten it doesn’t work so why put your children through it.

To summarise, what I will say is that we need to take our times getting to know our partners, maintaining a bond filled with good communication and think long and hard if this person will be the person you will be happy to permanently linked to. After all your happiness is just as important as your children’s. Choose wisely!

P.S I do know and understand that this maybe a sensitive subject for some but my views have come about due to my worldly analysis, I do not intend to offend.

Sorry in advance if I have.