Tag: Society

To hunt or be hunted?!

It has been commonly stated that men are hunters and what they truly desire, they will hunt for it like a starved wolf to no avail. We women should sit back and do the traditional thing, wait to be preyed on. But how much of this theory is actually true?

Me, an individual not very interested by rules but traditional with some of my views was discussing this topic with another rule bending close one. Her stance has been to go up and approach the one you like without a blink of an eye, whereas I have always held the traditional view that the male should make the first move. 

Well as I am much older than the age that I first adopted this view which was to partly cover up my low confidence and protect me from any possible rejection, I have started to question this ideology just a bit. 

I like to look at the world as a collective regardless of gender and I tend to look at both sides to every story to get a really clear objective. This being said, I have decided to look more into the feelings and thoughts of the males who are knowingly or unknowingly being held to this historical view. 

If you are not a confident person or quite frankly your love interest makes you quiver at the thought of “Hello”, how is it logically possible that you should be relied upon to hunt this being out. 

Does it make you less womanly for doing the job for him by making the first approach and does it make him less manly for not having the courage!? Well my friend has now decided that she is going to refrain from approaching guys because she feels that she is emasculating the very male that she wants due to taking on the “masculine role”. 

“The emasculation of men is taking place everyday with the lack of dependent women”, I was told by a woman at an inspirational event. This in turn could possibly be the reason that men approaching women is currently at an all time low. They simply feel unneeded and in my most recent experiences, I have learned that people love to be needed. 

Some men have said that they think there is nothing more sexy than a woman who knows what she wants, so why should a woman approaching a man be any different?

I do believe that the more rules the more complicated situations can be because it can leave less room for a natural flow, resulting in pressure and judgement to live up to the status quo. So I am a great believer in living life by your own standards which means going up to that cutie regardless of what sex you are and asking them out. You never know, maybe your prospective lover might have been praying to be hunted by you! 


Feminine vs Masculine 🚺🚹

When it comes to characteristics, what is Feminine and what is Masculine? Well, I will try to keep this one short and sweet but I can’t promise that I won’t run off at the mouth as usual. You see I’m like Pringles, once I start, I just can’t stop!

For many years I’ve listened to people and seen how society has created their narrow views. I’ve seen people fear to act out in the ways they most desire and I’ve heard people say the things that they deem to be sociably acceptable but I am cut from a very different knife. I stay true to me by being me.

I’ve often heard people say he or she is “too feminine” or not “masculine enough”. But from young I’ve questioned what is really feminine & masculine?! From the age of 7 when I developed my own sense of style, I was branded a ‘tomboy’. All I ever wore was sneakers and tracksuits. I was in my element in the clothing I considered to be of my upmost comfort and which expressed my personality, sporty and active. As I got older and realised that by me wearing skirts shifted me into the feminine bracket and me wearing jogging bottoms put me into the masculine bracket I was genuinely concerned. How could what I wore which is my self expression determine how feminine I was? Well for the protection of your ears or shall I say eyes, I won’t ramble off into my many opinions, I’ll just stay on the topic off self expression and cover one section of it, emotional expression.

Growing up and creating relationships with the opposite sex, I’ve seen the slim confinements that both sexes have been caste. Feminine and Masculine. I’ve seen on numerous occasions that people have used the terminology of feminine and masculine to describe a person negatively. My biggest concern is the association of expressing ones emotions with the act of femininity.

A couple of years back, I had a debate with one of my older sisters about this very issue of femininity. We were discussing something along the lines of relationships and she described a male who was quite expressive with his emotions as feminine. I then wanted to explore this concept further as she was not the first person I had heard mention this. As you consider a male expressing his emotions as feminine, it instantly creates a negative, degrading cloud over him in our minds. But “why?” I asked, because we have been conditioned to believe these very views, creating separations between the sexes.

This view really irked me. Why do we consider the action of a person to express their emotions openly as a feminine trait? Why should concealing your emotions be considered as a masculine trait? It’s this kind of conditioning from young that creates a continuous cycle of behaviour that I feel is unacceptable. This prevents people for doing the one thing that they have the right to do which is to express yourself. How can you expect to build a greater understanding and better yet, get what you want if you are afraid to express how you feel?!

Whenever I am in conversation with a male and they express how they feel about me or anything for that matter, I give them my high regards of respect because I know how much it must have taken for them to do something that has been identified as a “weak” or “feminine” action.

The commencing of this ideology began when who ever felt that the colour Pink was for a girls and the colour Blue was for boys. Again restricting the genders to maintain an opposing sense of expression, which later stems into males remaining cold and putting on this tough “I have no feelings” exterior, in turn creating a reoccurring deal breaker in most relationships they endeavour.

I will not be passing on any of these generation destroying ideas onto my future offspring because I know better than to forbid any person from allowing them to express themselves how they see fit. The colour example is a cute token but we must be aware of how far we are taking this into the concept of character building.

Guys it is not feminine to express your emotions and girls it is not masculine to be direct and driven. Be true to you in order to get the best for you!

*P.S I knew the Pringles effect would take place*

For better or for worse!

So after seeing a picture of one my loves (imaginary) Robin Thicke groping a girl with his shirt loosened and a elated expression on his face to his wife’s disbelief, the question to me still stands. Why not stay single if you want to still mingle?!

Well, I know in this day and age some would say that as a generation we are all to quick to get divorced but I think why stay married if you are not committed and you are not going to take it seriously?!

As a person, if you do not feel you have enough control of yourself and of your temptations, why not communicate this with your partner first? Express where your heads at or how you feel the relationship is going. People are not direct enough, which often leads them to do the cowardly thing, perform infidelity.

To often people adopt the cliché, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” attitude in order to lead a so-called “thrilling” lifestyle where keeping secrets and the possibilities of getting caught are a big turn on, when in actuality its a cop out.This kind of action marks the beginning of the idea that you feel that your partner is not of high or at least equal value. Why not give them the heads up, so that they can decide whether they actually want to be with you too?!

Well my theories are that people stay in these marriages frightened to admit that their relationship isn’t working because they think that this screams out failure to others when on contrary, it is only screaming out to themselves. The need to keep up appearances remains strong because society has made it quite unattractive to be a single person.

It appears that people think that when you are single you are not happy. You are not desired and as a result you are lonely. This is all a bunch of B.S to be quite frank. This thought is not by default through being single, these thoughts are only thoughts you CHOOSE to embark. We all CHOOSE how we want to feel about something and what we want to do. It all starts with YOU.

This is the main issue. A majority of people feel they need validation through the eyes, opinion and companionship of another. But what we need to first learn is to start solely with loving ourselves. This again is something which, society does not promote.

Monogamy is a beautiful thing, which is applied in order to build and develop a deeper connection. If this kinda depth is not for you then I feel it’s best not to promise such a commitment.

In my opinion, when we stay in something whether it be work, or in this case relationships, when we know its not making us happy, it’s a sign of weakness not a sign of weakness when we decide to move on. Some situations are here to make us evolve and learn so all we must do is be thankful for the experience because it is preparation for whatever is next in our lives!


*I take on board that this photo is suggestive and some may not feel it is evidence that infidelity is taking place but I will soon blog about this query also*

Feel free to share your opinions 🙂